Earlier I read this article about not wasting your life making up your mind, instead, make decisions. I really really liked it because it’s almost exactly how I try to justify my actions when things go into a spiral and I berate myself for being this stupid stupid girl.
I think in an earlier blog, I mentioned that part of the things that give me peace is my self-trust. I’m very pleased to say that I have reached that point where I let myself be, because I trust that I will not deliberately put myself in harm’s way. That my decisions, whether they end up to be wrong or right, are all made with the intention of being good ones. Of course, I don’t have a fool-proof solution to things, and god forbid I tell you all the fuck ups I’ve taken myself too (oh, the highs!); but that whole self trust system has given me an eternal spring of inner peace–one I can always scoop from when I need quenching.
Playlists, postcards, and then some
The past few days, I’ve been going through Spotify for songs to add to this playlist I’m preparing for D. Supposedly, it was a surprise. But of course immediately after I thought of it as a surprise, I excitedly shared the idea. #NoEQ
So she knows about the playlist, that’s okay. She doesn’t know the songs. Yeah, right.
Of course I also found ways to reveal a few songs to her! #NoEQ HAHAHA
I’m really enjoying these little things. One time it crossed my mind, I should be sad because this is all I get to do; however, the sunshiny girl in me won over and owned the conversation. Why should I be sad? I get to do this. That in itself is a celebration.
I’d love to think it’s in the little things too.
So I would like to take this chance to just put things into writing, as if writing them down makes them more valid than they already are as is privately tucked inside my brilliant mind haha
Things you don’t know
You are the biggest surprise
when I said I hate all of its kind
you knocked on my door
knocked me off my feet
you entered my life
as if you’re finally home
after a tiring vacation
You are my good morning and night
sweet on my lips and smooth as silk
you captured my hours
kept me up
kept me smiling
you are the secrets
exchanged in kisses
tea party for two
You are the long road ahead
an endless winding into the distance
you are the last stretch
step by step
you reveal yourself
you are the body memory
warm on my hand
sweet nectarine chest
You are my one and only
the name commanding every part of me
you are my constant
the conversation starter
the final say
you are my person
I am yours to see
come, welcome me