To You

Past few days, I’ve been collecting poems from my many pasts and it’s a mix of squeamish and enlightening to revisit old feelings through poems I wrote.

Truth is, majority of the poems I wrote, I can’t remember when or why I wrote them. But that doesn’t remove the fact that in the few that I do remember, the memory isn’t just some image in my mind. The memory has a life of its own, flesh and bones–organs and all. It’s lovely, to feel how true some feelings I’ve felt were–still are.

Anyway, here’s a poem I don’t remember.

To map your body
with every word I know
write all feelings
cover every inch
’til your wholeness becomes
my love and I
am woven to you

To hear your heartbeat
leap from your chest
to my breast
closer to you each time
I breathe
You inside my mind
I within your soul
to dance with this desire
undiscovered before

To tell you that I
am no longer mine
but yours
high in every way
known to man
golden like the sun
heavenly and divine
the secret between my hands
You, only You
All of time.

And here’s a poem that lives on.

There’s a cloud in the distance
a dove of silver lining
against a sea of dreamers
holding an applause
you should’ve seen it
Her shadow over our heads
how you looked down
You always stare on the ground.

There’s a sheet of colors
painting countless tomorrows
calling on lost lovers
filing them in a row
brave ones first
shiny eyes, brazen hearts
Where did you choose to stand?
I was busy raising my hand.

One tree told me
listen to the wind
seek the light that creeps in
always pick your fruit.
So, I read you my palm
how I can see from miles and miles
in every dream, your smile.

I dreamt we were an orchestra
music vibrating off our skin
words strumming rhythms from our hair.
You were
a deep cello painting
how sleeping with everything you want and need must be like

I heard the flipping pages
they secretly turned minutes into beats
heart pounding off caged chests
demanding a solo
like a violin of promises blending into the cry of your sweet sweet sigh.

I tasted the ecstasy in the air
between our hands
right before they touched
your voice
t’was fire under my tongue
chasing after every lyric
offering a deep endless rest.

Against an orange sky
close to an open edge
within an airless room
on top of the world
enclosed by silence
or trapped by smoke
I will kiss you–
Under a blanket
beside our secrets
inside a bubble
over coffee
maybe wine too
I will kiss you–
After you cry
before you forget
between every smile
at the end of each line
I will kiss you–
When stuck in lines
or a steady climb
I will kiss you–
In every station
as you hold my hand
around the corner eye
of every fear you face
note that I will kiss you.

This is how you learn me:

Catch butterflies and spiders from my hair
question the twists and turns that build me
slide among the branches of my morals
smell the scent from my nape
trace my stories up to my lips
collect the fallen words I fail to say
from the cemetery of poems under my tongue.

But should you
run your index up my arm
notice my hair raise, intoxicated
follow my breath as it grow deeper
sink into my secrets
whisper to me an honest thought
watch me take you as mine
you will know the countless ways of realizing this
you could learn me your own way.

I’d end this post with a song that triggers me for years and years.

Dancing by Elisa


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